The Sleep Trials

I've been meaning to write this post for the last couple of days, but keep putting it off or forgetting and it's about time I journal it for memory's sake.  A little while back, citing my friends again, my friend Casey posted about the hard time her young baby was having sleeping through the night and the time old discussion of crying it out, or not.  I appreciated her words on the topic, especially her decision to forego crying it out, knowing what is best for her little girl.  I remember going through the same trial with Brayden, though I have to admit, thats been one of the easier aspects of Brayden, he loves sleep like his Mama.  He has plenty of other more problemsome things, like his stubborn streak, like his aversion to almost all foods, and also his contentment with how he does things instead of a drive to want to learn how else to do it (walking, crawling, talking, etc!).  But back to sleep.  Brayden has always been a pretty good sleeper with some hiccups along the way including colic, waking up for feedings, being sick, etc.  About a month ago Brayden went through a week of NOT sleeping well. Coupled with the stomach flu for all of us, and Mike and I not being quite sure how to handle it, it took two nights of Brayden sleeping in bed with us, one night of us all sleeping on the couch, and a few nights of getting up throughout the night to calm him down to get through it.  But I learned something from that time.  Brayden actually did better when I didnt come in to calm him down.  I ended up being a catalyst for the problem.  Instead of making it better, the fact that I came to Brayden and then had to eventually leave again, no matter how long I stayed, made him even more upset.  I understand crying it out is sometimes neccessary, and Mike and I even have had to do it a handful of times with Brayden, and there is something just so unnatural about listening to your child being upset, and not tending to them.  But it was when I realized Brayden got even MORE upset when I left, that I had to pick the less of the two evils and go with that.  Sure enough, it took a couple nights, and each night a little less time, for Brayden to calm down, and he was sleeping through the night again.

Well, this week, it started back up again.  And, unfortunately, I end up being the person that sometimes has to learn a lesson more than once.  I was caught off guard that Brayden was doing this again, and the first night, I went in, and when I couldnt calm him down, I ended up "not" sleeping with him on our guest bed all night (why do kids toss and turn so much?!)  Mike and I talked the next day and both agreed we would have to treat this as the last time and tough it out with Brayden.  The first night, Brayden cried off and on for over 30 minutes. It was rough.  The only saving grace I had was that every single time I almost got out of bed, he would calm down. It was like 5 minutes on 5 minutes off, of him being upset. And on a side note, its not him screaming and crying the whole time, I couldnt handle that and would just cave. It's more of him crying some, calming down, talking and whimpering some, calming down, and every now and then a temper tantrum thrown in there.  But, I didnt go in, and actually took the time to lay awake in bed and pray over him, for God's comfort and peace to cover him, for him to get rest, and for me to get rest as well.  The next night was only 15 minutes, and last night, nothing at all.

Parenting is SUCH a journey isn't it? The number one thing I think I have learned is that you have to be willing to adapt and change with your child. Everything seems to be a stage, and you have to find what works best in that stage. Crying it out when Brayden was a baby, just wasn't what worked, consoling him was for the most part, surefire.  Now that he is older and understands more, it just confused him to have me come in there. I just wanted to journal this, so one day, when he's having sleeping problems with his own kids, he'll have this to look back on!